You know, reality sucks! (Social Rant!!!)

Reality sucks! (at least for me-like people who have their souls hard-wired into their laptops).

That’s what the last 5 months taught me. Starting from the last semester, through the vacation (when nature betrayed me), all the way down to college, those amazingly painful sequence of events, events that completely transformed me into an introvert (I already am, but that’s only 67%)

What if you’re under the obligation to do some stuff? Things that you don’t wanna do! Things that you aren’t supposed to do… Things that you aren’t destined for!  We can’t always go along the curve, can we? There are perturbations (there should be!).

But this time, it went far worse – it just pushed me ahead of the curve…

Split up… Relocation – New Home!

Not all humans are civilized. Some pretend to be! (That’s where my bugging comes). In my personal inference, the feminine gender is not as mature (as they appear to be) when compared to the masculine of their age, and their altar of ego! Wow! Ego which makes them to lie, to be hideous (& cunning), to play cons, to be possessive, and the most important thing – establish their identity…

In my last two years of social adventure with my uncle through the mysterious realms of family, we suffocated a lot. Relationships have consequences! I struggled because of my mom, while he struggled because of my aunt (his wife). The egos of these women cross out while we’re away, and the effect is unleashed when we reach home. All days & nights (No holidays! In fact, holidays are worse), from “buying-list in market” to “preparing dinner”, they quarrel over all kinds of petty stuff.

These vendettas occurring every now & then, amplified their depression, paving way for hatred in the minds of each other. Then, one day, our unsung hero awakens, the dawn of EGO. The consequence?

We split up. Me & my mom move to a new home before sunrise. Our adventure stopped there. In the meantime, my cousin steps into Earth. My uncle’s adventure begins. What about mine? Not so long ago, I figured out that we’ve decided to become decent men in an indecent time. Lacking patience, my mom had chosen a home. I had to climb 56-steps horror to reach the home.

Home (3) 

What’s the big deal? Not only did we become exhausted in a few days (up-down, up-down, up-down), but then came the drastic scarcity. No water! How can 10 houses share the same well in summer? (especially at Chennai). Well dried off! So, moving again. Look out for a new home…

Man, there are about 10k homes in this town, but over 90% are already occupied, we can’t think about 8% of those (as they’re only for the wealthy), 1% of the homes are distant (takes time to reach the nearest bus/train station). For 2 months, we sniffed throughout the town. Finally, one of our relatives pointed to some old haunted house (the situation was terrible, that we chose to move into that “thing”).

Well, it’s not exactly a home – it’s a wildlife sanctuary (except birds & animals). There are snakes, bats, lizards, dozens of insect species, all kinds of interesting things.

Settled

(Okay, we’re gonna relocate again, due to some financial problems, but that’s entirely another story)

Losing someone you love!

What if you lose someone you care the most? And, what if you had no one to cheer you up?

InternetMy laptop died with a flash!

One fine morning, I was enthusiastically chatting with my recent crush (“Me” –> crush on someone? Can you believe that? You should!)

A flash appeared. That’s all! Gone… No reason at all!

The only thing that I respected (cared) the most. It’s my horcrux, okay? Some portion of me is contained in it. This may sound funny to you, because you won’t be able to imagine how my self-productivity was devastated, how my vacation was utterly destroyed, and how I was emotionally affected.

However, it was one of the reasons for my personality change over the past two years...

 So, no internet. And now, my laptop’s gone…

I only had my phone. All I can do is “read” some books. But, you can’t read all day. There was something that nature wanted me to do… Get out!!!

Socialize with the homo sapiens, spend an hour or so outside – take a stroll in the beach, go to the public library (great place for introverts like me, especially the physics floor, which was empty almost all the time), go shopping with mom (waste all day), etc.

Tossing papers, eh?

Someone gave me this strange idea of tossing papers early in the morning. I agreed because it was crazy.

Paper Toss

I felt happy with my first job (well, not exactly a job, as I was just pursuing my happiness). Get up early (like 4:00) in the morning, arrange the 7 species of papers, gather about a hundred for your route, toss those papers (of course, clearly without damage, or you’ll be sued) into those homes, without losing track of anyone…

I was happy because the job was challenging at the start. You’ve to memorize your route, the paths (about 6 kms deep through the tiny streets), the houses, and especially – which (of the 7 species of paper) is for which (house)! And finally, never get scared, because there are at least a few dozens of dogs along the way, and they chase you!

I got used to this paper-tossing in a week. In order for me to memorize, I wrote “codes” in the walls of houses, which only I can understand, which was also the reason why I continued doing the job. Or else, I would’ve already quitted

Early morning, No one around, You (alone) searching homes, hearing music, cycling, tossing papers… Man, this job really had a great influence on me. It kept me distracted from thinking about how I’m wasting my vacation. But, that didn’t last longer than 20 days…

New virtual wife…

It’s been 3 weeks since disconnection from the virtual world. What else affected?

  • Stack Exchange? Haven’t visited for months (the first time, I lose my consecutive)
  • Blogging? Same goes to that
  • Online courses? Got out of sync since disconnection (can’t submit/view anything)
  • Social Networks? Heh… Nah!
  • Books you ought to read, videos you ought to watch? Nopesey!

All of a sudden, to my surprise, dad gets me a new laptop (despite the financial problems we had), though I was still under disconnection from Internet. But, that’s enough for me. A laptop was all I want back then!

So, how was she? She was specifically designed for me, built to fill up my thirst. Lenovo G50-70. Its major utility is “Gaming & Entertainment”. It’s been a year since I last played…

Laptop

So, somehow I got lucky. My self-productivity rises… I got back into gaming, coding, and reading.

Now, you can guess what happened to my job. I intentionally lose my job (in about 10 days, when was seriously under obligation of taking the job), as I got bored of it! You know, nothing in the real world can come close to my laptop…

College again! The Ultimate change…

The vacation ended in a week, since the laptop came. So, I did nothing in the vacation! This is why I don’t plan. I planned a lot of things for the vacation (for the first time), and ruined.

Back to the old “sucking” days in college…

DSC_0192

Now, things are taken to the extremes (a whole new level). There’s no sophomore anymore. Now, there’s only a “pre-final year” undergrad. There comes a question, “What are you gonna do after getting your bachelor’s degree?”

The obvious answers arouse from the crowd, “Either get a job, or pursue higher education”. Easy to say, but with my department, it isn’t so easy. With my two years of experience (and, it’s exactly two years since I fell into this thing, this day – I always regret for falling) in this tartarian cage, the conclusion is easy to make, “No job! Go elsewhere!”

I have nothing except two deadly things – Physics, and coding – I’m in a dilemma…

As far as I’ve imagined, it looks as if my case is quite painful compared to the others, because I gotta survive in the pursuit of my bachelor’s degree (aeronautics), at the same time – enhance my knowledge in my deadly stuff…

So, the ultimately unique solution – completely become an introvert! It wasn’t so hard to make that transformation possible. I caught one good reason, “Why should I care about anyone at all, when no one bothered to observe anything good from me, especially the academicians?” Why would anyone bother about you, when they’re busy looking after themselves? All these days, I’ve wasted my time explaining stuff, teaching deaf ears, ranting around, and spoiling my own personality for doing that.

Anyways, it’s never late to do something. At least, now I’ve realized the meaning of the quote,

“The quieter you become, the more you’re able to hear…”

(Of course, I noticed that in Kali linux for the first time)

This world, its people, their true faces, the morality, their rules, it’s a bad joke. Just like the joker says, “These civilized people, they’re only as good as the world allows them to be”. At this moment, I’ve come to realize that only the virtual faces are truly reliable.

You wanna survive in reality? You gotta be a masochist! And, this is me – at my most masochistic…

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